#but yeah i do think this incident is really the closest I've ever come to being true to myself

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Sometimes I remember that time in 2018 when I curled up on my side in a ditch off the highway and sobbed hysterically for like 20 minutes and it's like yeah you know what that tracks 🫡

[quitealotofsodapop]

Where did the idea that Macaque and PIF are swirn siblings come from? I've seen it in a few other fics and while I'm not in any way against it I am curious. Is it just fannon or is there evidence for it in either the show or the original text? And how did the two of them meet in your au?

I believe it's a popular fanon idea. I think it spawned from the fact that Wukong and DBK are canonically sworn brothers, and thus Macaque and PIF would have interacted back in the day through the Brotherhood - both were/are not looked upon the best by the leaders of the Brotherhood, so they may have found friendship in one another. They are also both cool af characters that sadly never interacted in the show proper.

Macaque ( -_-)/\(-_- ) PIF: Being bad b*tches with wind powers and impulsive spouses who got trapped under a mountain for 400+ years.

In "The Monkey King and the Infant" au they're sworn/adoptive siblings due to mutual past history, even before The Brotherhood. They met as young children (an incident where little Princess Tieshan stole her big sister's bag of wind and got stranded on the moon), and later became eachother's confidants when they reunited as teens (Macaque becoming PIF's attendant). When the Brotherhood started up, Macaque accidentally introduced PIF and DBK while sneaking out for a meeting. When PIF was disowned by her family for falling in love with a demon; Macaque was one of very few from her old life that stayed by her side. They supported eachother emotionally through thick and thin - SWK being imprisioned + his and Macaque's breakup, PIF's banishment and troubles having a child etc...

Then Macaque "died".

And so PIF lost the closest to a little brother she ever had.

DBK finding out about Macaque's death (or whatever version someone spun about it), combined with Red Son being taken away by Guanyin after the Samadhi Fire ritual, is partially what drove him into a rage + his own imprisonment under a mountain. And so Princess Iron Fan was left (almost) completely alone for roughly 400+ years. It's no wonder why she fcking hates SWK's guts.

By the time of the fic start, she straight up decides "fck this I'm taking my kid back and finding a way to remove the staff. I ain't waiting around on earth alone anymore."

Then a month or so later she recieves a knock on her door;

Macaque: "Hey, jiejie [big sis]. I uh... kinda got revived???" PIF: "...how and why?!" Macaque: "No idea [lie]. Ok, long story short; Wukong knocked me up-" PIF: "THAT SON OF A BIT-" Macaque: "Yeah I was mad too. We're kinda *still* on a break right now so can I crash here until... I dunno either he apologizes, I stop being mad at him, or you know... forever?" PIF, (trying to hide tears of joy): "Forever sounds like just long enough."

The emotional reunion is interuppted by toddler Red Son charging head-first (bull calf style) into Macaque out of excitement.

After realising that his sworn uncle is very upset with the Monkey King; Red Son declares war on Sun Wukong and later secretly begins devising a plan to kidnap him and force him to lift the staff. PIF thinks its adorable how protective Red Son is over them, while Macaque is reading the kid's revenge corkboard like "Oh dang, he's really going for it. I'm so proud of him. Wait... is this what having a kid feels like??"

When SWK shows up looking for Macaque, PIF pretty much wind-fan kicks his ass straight out of the mountain. Cue Wukong thinking he has to do something; Big, Dumb, Dangerous, and Extremely Hearfelt in order to get back into both Macaque's and PIF's good graces...

Small spoilers:

Macaque, extremely touched but confused af: "Peaches, I would have accepted an apology and some flowers!" PIF, non-stop cuddling DBK since he got back: "Not me. This barely gets Wukong off my hit list."

Its a huge thing. The citizens of Diyu are shooken. By the end of it, the fam is extremely confused but happy to be reunited. Red Son declares it his first ever evil victory.

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

Okayyy get ready because the time has come and we are doing this (disclaimer: these are just my personal views and I'm not trying to convince anybody to agree with me, this is just me listing which characters I think are aroacespec and why)

Amnesia aroacespec headcanons in order of least to most controversial

#4 - Henri Clement

Henri being aromantic just makes sense to me. Romance doesn't ever come up in his story, it's all about him and his best friend! An incident with a barmaid is mentioned, though unspecified, so I just don't really know what that's about??? But also the Bunker was released just around the same time as the first-ever international aromantic day of visibility, sooo... Also I don't know if he's also ace, but personally I think he probably is, he's at least the one on this list who in my opinion is the closest to being fully aroace (like me :D)

#3 - Justine Florbelle

Now I know we've already jumped to a ridiculously controversial character here, so you know the last two are really gonna be a doozy haha, but ANYway, Justine obviously loves having people be attracted to her, but she herself never experiences any attraction to any of her Suitors. She just loves to feel loved and feel "beautiful," but she doesn't love any of them in return. I don't know about her being ace honestly, I considered sex positive ace for her but maybe she does feel the sexual attraction but not the romantic? Definitely romance favorable aro, but I'm interested in other people's opinions on the sexual attraction part of it. But last but not least, let's address the elephant in the room- Clarice. I personally believe that Justine and Clarice are in an alterous relationship. It's not necessarily romantic but it's not necessarily platonic, it just is what it is between them and what's important to them is that they love each other, not exactly what kind of love that is. That's my take

#2 - Alexander von Brennenburg

Ohhh yeah here's where I'm really gonna lose people, but I'm gonna be totally honest... I don't understand why everyone in the fandom sees Alexander as a slut??? I don't see that in him in the game at all, he's CLEARLY wholly devoted to his love (who I personally believe to be Temaku based on a note in Rebirth). Everything Alexander does, spending hundreds of years just to open this portal, is all just to be with his love again. So why would he be sleeping around and falling in love with Agrippa, Weyer, Daniel, or ANYone? I don't get the fandom interpretation of Alexander being a whore or polyamorous, I think in the game he's monogamous to a disturbing and unhealthy degree and it's part of what makes his character... who he is. So in my eyes, Alexander is demigay (I do understand the take that Alexander seduced Daniel to manipulate him without actually being in love with Daniel, but not Alexander falling in love with him for real)

Last but not least...

#1 - Daniel

Cue the screaming

Look. LOOK. Okay. Every single protagonist, even the two others I've mentioned here, have mention of sex and/or romance in their personal stories. Justine, obviously, Oswald, ALL THE TIME, Tasi, had a husband and children, Henri, incident with the barmaid, but Daniel.... nothing. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nada. It never comes up, and to me that's because he's not ever.. thinking about it. It's not something that's on his mind because it's not something that he feels or desires. He just really likes archeology and history and his sister and that's all :)

That being said...

I do think Daniel is not 100% aroace. I see him more in the gray or demi area, but it's very very very rare for him. Case in point, I do think he had a bit of a crush on Alexander, but I think that was his first crush so he didn't recognize what those feelings were or why he was feeling them. I think Alexander could tell that Daniel had a crush on him though, and thought it was cute and funny but also used it to his advantage (though not by outright seducing him since Daniel didn't know he had a crush). So Daniel in my head is also demigay, or graygay, but most of the time is pretty much aroace

Plus honorable mention - Tihana!! I think it fits with what little we hear about her backstory

Those are my thoughts and feelings I've been sitting on for a year because I'm tired of people bashing aroace headcanons, but that's been happening less and less the last couple years and I've been going through a lot so I think I deserve to indulge myself a little

Also just a reminder that I'm not claiming these to be canon or trying to convince anybody to see things my way! This is just what I think and why :))

[wisteria-lodge]

burnt & exploded bird + badger secondary (bird model)

Hi! I've been doing a lot of introspection lately and I kind of wanted a second opinion about me?

I've been reading about the primaries and of all of them, Snake seems the least wrong, but it doesn't really feel right? Like, I prioritize my people over everyone else, but I don't do it because it's the right thing to do or because I care about my people. I do it because it helps me. I don't think I'm really capable of caring about people for who they are instead of what they provide me. When I was in grade school, I made a chart of how often I could interact with my friends to maximize fondness and minimize distaste for my innate personality.

Well, somebody's got some Bird somewhere.

And you're definitely an Idealist. Loyalists see people as ends in themselves, and you don't which is... totally fine.

Although this "distaste for my innate personality" thing... you had such a strong belief that you were such a huge problem so young? What happened?

Most of my conclusions from back them remain true to this day.

Oh. Yes. You're a Bird Primary. You built a system, you built it young, and you're still living in it.

Including an inability to suppress my extreme selfishness, an inability to understand how my actions will affect other people, and an inability to actually hold a decent conversation. I intentionally "befriend" people who like to talk more than they like to listen because I don't like talking to other people, but I quite enjoy learning. My people are the only ones I ever consider, but I consider them so I can keep them, not because I really care.

You know this is fine, right? To want to be around interesting people, and listen to them talk? You're a good listener, and that is a HUGE part of "holding a decent conversation." There is no reason you have to be some sparking, witty, extroverted charmer.

And all of this talk of "extreme selfishness" and "inability to understand how my actions will affect other people?" So far it seems like you make flow charts to try to understand how your actions affect other people. Is the problem that you're not omniscient?Something is up with your secondary, there's to much "I literally am incapable of being a person" for there not to be.

Bird is the second closest, but it seems to imply a level of... put-togetherness? that I don't really have.

Yeah, I adore Birds, but Birds are crazy.

I appreciate logic and reasoning, but I'm self-aware enough to know that my decisions are mostly emotion and instinct and justified after the fact. I don't trust the "outside world" to convey accurate information to me, likely due repeated and continuous incidents in my childhood that I won't get into because it's a little too personal.

OH. You're Exploded. You're an Exploded Bird. Mostly likely you've dealt with some heavy duty gaslighting (sadly common) and this has messed with your ability to take in new information.

Best guess is that your secondary, whatever it is, is Burned, and you don't feel confident navigating the world using it.

I think I want to be a Bird and try to be a Bird but can't actually use any of its tenets. I am not a rational person.

And... that's Burnt Primary talk. "I can't reason." You're a Burnt Bird as well. I mean sure you have emotions, and bias, you're a person. But you like logic, you like coming up with conclusions and then using them as rules to live by, and you can think and reason. What does it even *mean* to say "I'm not a rational person?" Like, what, intrinsically rational? There are no rational four-year-olds, this is something that you build.

I think rationality is the best possible metric for morality you will ever find

Bird.

and I am incapable of judging on a standard that isn't "how will this help me". I use rationality as a tool to further my objective of maximizing myself.

What's the problem with that. That's just, existentialist philosophy.

I don't really like myself either, so I'm not really sure why it's an objective to maximize self-benefit. And even this isn't really the best portrayal of me? Because I think I'm acting for my own self-benefit. It's the best way I've thought of to understand myself.

No one is born not liking themselves. That happened at some point. And whatever it is, it seems to have to do with *how* you interact with the world (secondary) and not *why* you interact with the world (primary.) For having Burning and Exploding in your past, you seem pretty confident in your primary.

But the thing is, I automatically try to live up (or down) to people's expectations. This has hurt me greatly in life, both academically and socially. EX: I made a really weird first impression on one of my current "friends". They genuinely think I'm plausibly a serial killer now. I don't know how to tell them it was a bit, and I don't know how to stop acting like that around them. It doesn't feel like me while I'm not around them, and I don't think they like being around me either, but I am genuinely incapable of stopping.

Feeling like you got "stuck doing a bit" is generally an Actor Bird Secondary problem... but the idea that you can't switch out of it in the moment (even though you want to) and feeling like you're kind of only doing it because of inertia, that's something I recognize in myself. So I'm kind of inclined to say this is an automatic Secondary, Badger or Snake.

Also, it needs to be said, but if you were really as creepy and as off-putting as you seem think you are... no one would hang out with you. (unless... are you insanely good-looking? incredibly rich? Is that the context I'm missing? :)

You truly seem to believe that the multi-player version of your secondary is ineffective/incorrect/wrong. You're Burnt, in the terminology of this system. And I suspect you're being too hard on yourself.

For secondary, I feel weirdly split between Lion and Snake. Like, who I am is unchanging.

(Except when you're doing a bit.) (But I know what you mean. The 'neutral' you is always you, but that's the case for everybody.)

I will never compromise myself to fit in, even if it would help the situation.

Sounds like a You-Move secondary. (Lion or Badger.)

I have strong difficulties adapting to situations.

Prep-work secondary (Badger or Bird.) And some Burnt secondary language of course.

If you're following along, that gives us: Automatic, You-Move, Prepwork seconday = Badger.

However, I have noticed that these convictions of mine are probably false.

... that is something a Lion primary would never, ever think. To a Lion, convictions are internal and therefore true. But that doesn't work for you. You're a Bird, so you need your Truth to exist externally as well, in order to be secure and safe.

I change a lot depending on the person I'm around. EX: When I'm alone, I'm a paranoid mess that flinches at loud sounds (past trauma). When I'm with this one friend of mine who has a lot of issues with manic episodes and hates touch, I'm loud and bombastic, smiling and unnerving, and oddly physical considering the touch aversion of both me and my friend. When I'm with this other friend who's a bit more mellow, I'm almost actually nice. I say "please" and "thank you", which is also weird because this friend doesn't.

You've stopped putting "friend" in air quotes. I'll take it.

You'll call me crazy, but this sounds like Courtier Badger. You're unusual, and probably your friends are too, so it's going to manifest in some interesting ways, but that's what's going on. I know this is a process that gets called "mirroring," but the idea is not that you're reflecting back a duplicate of your friend, the idea is that you're responding to whatever they're putting out, and reflecting back whatever energy you think they need.

(I would not be at all surprised if your mellow friend finds the upped manners comforting... and your friend with manic episodes finds you being bombastic, tactile and out-there comforting as well. Like, I'd buy that. Maybe they get a lot of people tip-toeing around them and treating them with kid gloves, and the fact that you don't do that makes for a pleasant change.)

It feels like me when I'm there, but when thinking about it when alone, I don't recognize it.

^ This is a very real part of being a Courtier Badger, especially if your friends are very *different* from each other. Getting emotion "hangovers" or needing time to reset back to center after interactions is also very real.

Bird is also maybe an option, but like if I had no areas of expertise. Probably not, though.

Again with that burnt secondary talk. You almost certainly have a Bird secondary model, that you built very young when whatever happened to your Badger secondary happened. And started writing relationship flow-charts as a coping mechanism.

I think somewhere along the line, I internalized the fact that all my choices are the wrong ones and became terrified of having agency. I don't know how much this affects the evaluation, but yeah.

I hate to say it, but that's absolutely classic Burnt Bird.

That's me. You know now more about me than my therapist. Do you have a sorting?

I sure do. Maybe not the best news in the world, but then that's for you to decide. I've laid out what I think. And I'm doing to lightly suggest that you're working from some old data that is... no longer relevant. You are not nearly as bad at being a person as you seem to think you are.

[liauditore]

26!!!

Space Zace Mutualson you know this. You were there for this. (<-- suggestive art in the link)

I have simply accepted the fact that I live amongst jesters and frauds and one day you will all collectively tell me the sky is Green, Actually and yet somehow my spirit remains unbroken. I hate you and everything you stand for.

ask game

ok but more serious response under the cut (HE IS GINGER THO YOU CAN PRY MY DEAD CORPSE OFF THIS HILL)

In general I must say I believe every interpretation is somewhat valid when it comes to art.

Let's say you're listening to a break-up song some guy wrote about his very specific ex-girlfriend Aleisha. You might read the backstory to it and learn about Aleisha but you're probably not going to think about This Guy's Girlfriend Aleisha when you think of the song, but your personal experiences with similar themes of heartbreak/separation instead.

Like yes, technically the 'correct' meaning behind the song is about Aleisha but the story in your head, the one that applies specifically to you, is probably more interesting to think about than Aleisha.

What I'm trying to say is although I have very specific storylines and themes in mind when I draw, I like it when people take what I give and spin their own little tale out of it, y'know? I think it's neat. The best FNAF theories were the wrong ones.

Buuuut that's just how I feel about it anyway.

I think the closest thing to a time where I felt the need to shut someone down was the bit of drama that happened in the notes of this piece (<-- again, horny art lol). Just cus I felt like it was kind of not really even related to the artwork and I don't think I actually really even cleared up how I portray scott/pearl but what can I do 😭😭

(just for the record for anyone who's interested, I don't see them as romantic OR platonic. they hate eachother so deeply that it comes back full circle into passion and care for each other, in that "if i lose you i lose what i live for" kind of way that can only exist within fiction. romantic-coded but not romantic if that makes sense? like batman and joker)

also i don't like being policed and im a rabid animal so if the Internet ever did get on my nerves abt the way i draw or don't draw something I would probably just go straight the opposite direction out of spite lol (FYI the above incident is a-okay to me since everyone was reasonably respectful but I've definitely seen some over the top reactions to stuff in the past. ppl on tumblr tend to be polite tho)

so uh yeah 👍

[itzcherrybonbon]

It has been a while since I've made posts about [Bright&Azure], yeah?

I gladly inform you that new ideas have been sparking, and I am thinking of rewriting the entire story.

Dear IE AU fans, I introduce to you the secondary protagonist beside Bright [Lots of text ahead, I'm sorry! There's a lot to be said.]

Meet Azalea!

No more Raspberry. I hated him-

Azalea is a human cursed with immortality. She killed her abusive father, and his last words was a spell for a curse. Only Bright and Midnight knows about this.

She used to live in Dreamtale, and was Midnight's closest friend. You could say they liked eachother, but never really confessed to one another. Both felt confused about what they were feeling, but Azalea was the first to come to terms with her feelings and actually planned to confess. But slowly, their friendship began to crumble, and that ruined Azalea's confession plans. Midnight was going more and more insane, and Azalea tried to keep him from going astray, resulting in arguments and a slap to her face. But after the apple incident, things went downhill..Seeing as Bright had turned to stone, she tried to defend the village herself. She lost her arm and one eye in a battle against Midnight as she tried to buy enough time for a child to escape. To prevent any more fatal injuries, she ran away never to be seen again.

Midnight kept searching for his "old friend" for years, and finally..he found her in an abandoned factory. He figured he could use a new ally, and despite her declining and efforts to get out from this situation, Midnight forcefully took her to his company by knocking her unconscious.

Ever since then, Azalea has been stuck working for him. Due to her disability, Midnight barely sends her out on any important mission unless it's to spy on someone or make her trick others with her friendly pretty face. Everybody trusts a fragile woman with disabilities..

Eventually, she ended up in a poly relationship with Midnight and Killer/Arnold. Midnight still had an interest on her. And this made Arnold feel envious. But as much as Azalea finds Killer annoying..she took an interest in this man. She still feels something for Midnight too, but only a little. Of course, she isn't planning to stay in this relationship, just having her final moments with the ones who'll end up dead eventually.

She made a deal with Merciless: Agreeing to help him built up his chances of killing Midnight in exchange of letting her go and clearing her name.

In Bright & Azure, Azalea took care of Angst and Merciless. She got attached to them both. Azalea adored Angst's good heart and for continuing to have hope, and she adored Merciless for slightly resembling Midnight from 600 years ago..It brings her nostalgia. Afterall, she still has a good feeling left for Midnight..

She was the only one who cried when Angst died. Merciless lied to her that it was Midnight who got his hands bloody, so Azalea had more reasons to hate him. Merciless acts innocent around Azalea to keep having her trust and support. (based off a hc-)

When Bright was captured, Azalea visited him and brought him clean clothes and food, seeing this as a chance to speak to him alone. A good friendship started building up, seeing as both had a few things in common, including being trapped in this place.

Azalea genuinely hates seeing Bright in this miserable state, so she plans on killing him when Merciless' plan commences. She wants to fulfill his wishes and end his suffering. For now, she's trying to have some final moments with him.

Her and Killer tend to fight a lot. Well he's usually the one looking for a fight. But she's usually chill, doesn't give him what he wants, gives him a gentle, playful smack instead. He's always trying to provoke her, but she sticks out her tongue in a mocking manner just to see what he's gonna do-

Azalea isn't afraid of dying. She's afraid of dying unhappy or in agony. Not a big fan of pain and torture, so she always is obedient and stays on Midnight's good side. This woman is good with words, afterall.

Anyways she's a year older than Midnight, and not that close to Horror, Dust or Crescent. She tolerates them though, seeing as they barely bother her and she barely bothers them.

Actress without an Oscar :3c

IE/Identities Evolved AU belongs to @crystal-traan (sorry for tagging you)

Hopefully I start another [Bright&Azure] book on Quotev because I deleted the old one, it made me gawk.

[clariongradiation]

31, 10, 22 for the ffxiv gods ask :)

alsooo as a bonus: do you have a main class and is it the same class you envision your wol to be as a character (e.g. you like playing one class in raids but you see your character as the master of another art when thinking of their lore)?

SOMEHOW THIS GOT LONG SO ITS UNDER A CUT THANK YOU FOR THE ASK

(It didn't add the cut my life is over sorry for the long post everyone)

CG: Hello hello, today we are here with the (almost) full party to answer some questions posed by a lovely friend. First off, how connected do you feel to nature?

Yuki🌸: when I first came to Eorzea it was fascinating to learn about the art of conjury from E-Sumi-Yan. The way they commune with nature and the elementals reminded me of how we speak with the kami, and it helped me to grow my healing art in ways I wouldn't have been able to if I had stayed in the Ruby Sea

Twi🐰: I may be from the forest, but I was never much of a treespeaker

Negi🍚: when you gather your ingredients from nature, you can't help but feel connected to it right? I may not speak to the elementals, but if you wander the woods long enough you pick up a thing or two

Popoto🥔: yes yes, and collecting the seeds to grow and nurture at home is another great way to be nature-y. It always feels so nice when something you've grown from a little seedling starts putting out flowers and fruit :)

CG: Great, thank you everyone. Next, do you believe in fate?

Kai🐱: it's a little hard not to, when the Spinner decides to have her way with you. Still though, it's not like we are incapable of making decisions for ourselves

Punch👊🏽: yeah, fate isn't really something I think of as a hard line or anything. I'll do my deeds and walk my path, and I'll get weighed at the end same as everyone else

Popoto🥔: I think so too, but isn't it nice to sometimes think that things were meant to be? Meeting a new friend, choosing one road over another, maybe these sort of things aren't random but little nudges from the goddess

CG: wao, so it's as deep or not as you want it to be, huh? Alright, next, at the peak of your fury do you tend to be destructive? If so, how?

Kai🐱: haha, this one is for those three

Punch👊🏽: don't mistake me, I may get destructive but not because I'm mad. I'm Ul'dahn; there are much more satisfying ways to deal with anger

Twi🐰: destruction doesn't have to be satisfying, sometimes it just seems the only appropriate way to respond. When someone has wronged you, when injustice happens and there's nothing else you can do, it can feel like the only way to get through it in the moment is to rage

Crystal🦎: one doesn't need to be furious to destroy? Destruction is as natural as creation. It is part of the cycle

Kai🐱: we haven't had any major incidents for quite a while. Adventuring and long hunting trips are good ways to keep property damage as low as possible

CG: some very interesting perspectives here. Last, our bonus question: do you have a main job, and is it different than the one you consider your true job?

Yuki🌸: healing was ever my calling, so white mage will always be closest to my heart. I cannot deny, though, that becoming a dark knight has helped me greatly with regards to certain other aspects of my life

Kai🐱: like romance, right?

Yuki🌸: [does not respond]

Punch👊🏽: I picked up the axe from some Lominsan lads we had employed for a while. It's a great way to defend yourself on the road, and I've never met an axemaster I haven't liked (eventually). Still, when it comes down to it, you can't go wrong with your own two fists

Twi🐰: in the forest, the spear was just part of life; its the tool and weapon I grew up with. But seeing the way Lyna wielded her chakrams was, um, inspiring. Learning the art during my time on the First is an experience I'll never forget

Negi🍚: similar to Twi, I grew up with the bow. Hunting game is a natural way of life in the mountains, and meeting Jehantel just seems like it was fated (haha). I cannot deny, though, that axes and knives are essential tools to know when gathering and cooking

Crystal🦎: bows and magic may be useful on the steppe, but the axe is the only weapon I require.

Popoto🥔: I may not have learned from everyone like Kai

Kai🐱: you just pick things up when you wander around

Popoto🥔: but I know enough to be able to fill any role I need to at the time. Though at the moment I've been learning about the sage's art while we're in Sharlayan, and it's been pretty fun :)

Kai🐱: I wouldn't say I know everything [a couple of the others scoff] but when you've inherited a legacy of millennia, it's not difficult to learn new things. However I am, and ever remain, a summoner.

CG: sounds like everyone has different things they like to do, huh? But that's what works best for a party! That's all for now, thank you everyone for coming~ We'll see you next time in the tumblr ask box!

[leejeongz]

PETTY

genre: fluff w a tiny bit of angst, enemies to lovers

member: treasure’s jihoon

word count: 2.3k

never in your life had you realised how much you hated biology until you had to study the carbon cycle, which is pretty ironic considering you cared so much about the environment. you could tell your classmates felt the same way too, most of them were doodling or whispering or just generally looking like they’d rather be anywhere else.

“i’m not sure you’re all getting this” your teacher realised, giving up on her powerpoint and going to sit down “how about you tell me what the carbon cycle is. this can go towards your grade, this can be your presentation!” she got more excited with every word coming out of her mouth “present to me the carbon cycle! this time next week, dress nice, it's going to be recorded. okay, you can leave early for today, gives you more time to work on the presentation” she smiled sarcastically, dismissing you all.

dumping all of your stuff into your backpack, you sighed rather loudly. you teacher looked over towards you, the teacher you could have murdered right now. “i hope i get to hear that volume from you during your presentation y/n” she joked. she was a nice lady, well she was usually nice to you, you had a similar sense of humour, but she could be lazy at times, maybe it was because she’d already got her qualifications, as she kept reminding you all.

“hurry up” you looked up to see your seatmate haruto had waited for you and was planning on walking home with you.

both of you were pretty puzzled by the task since your teacher had told you nothing and so you decided to sit in the library until the end of the school day, trying to figure out what was going on, rather than going home and winging it.

“i mean, i think i get it now” he announced, looking up from his book which he secretly had hidden his phone in “i’d help you but i don’t want our presentations to be so similar that mrs ‘i’m too lazy to teach you anything so do it yourself’ thinks we copied from each other”

you gave him a dirty look, knowing he was joking. “well then maybe i will no longer be your seatmate, no more cute stationery for you, unlucky pal”.

“now now, don’t be too hasty” he said while packing his things up once again “my friend said he can help you”.

Haruto had been obsessed with setting you up these days, ever since you told him you were ready for a relationship, he’d been trying to make one happen. now was the perfect opportunity to hook you up with yet another one of his friends, it was an unlikely relationship, he thought, but who knows.

“who? which boy is it this time? do you even have any friends left?” you asked.

“his name is jihoon, he got an A* for biology so i think he’s qualified enough to teach you.” he presented to you his phone with a picture of him on it.

you knew exactly who he was talking about. park jihoon. the name sent shivers down your spine. he was the head boy at your school when you first moved there. you had such bad memories of him. he once “accidentally” spilled water all over your work in the library, he always told you off for your uniform being “a mess” even though it was always immaculate, you saw him litter on numerous occasions and to make things worse, he tried to a rumour that your old school had lice and that you’d probably brought them with you. luckily not many people believed him, a lot of people shared the same opinion as you: there was just no way he was a nice guy.

“yeah, i don’t think it’s gonna happen” you scratched the back of your head “people whose name start with j… i’ve been warned about them”

“literally shut up that’s the most pathetic excuse i've ever heard. i’ve just sent you his address and he’s already agreed”

you couldn’t really not go now… you weren’t a bad person like jihoon was so you didn’t want to let anyone down. you put on your school hoodie and some leggings in a rush to get to jihoon’s house on time, it was the other side of the city and you didn’t want to be late, especially considering how bad the bus service was.

when you arrived, you suddenly remembered how attractive this boy was and it made you even more unwilling to knock on his door, how could someone so mean be blessed with such a nice face? before you even had the chance to consider knocking, a smiling young boy answered the door.

“hi! i’m-“ he stopped, making eye contact with you for the first time. he stood tall in what you presumed was a new sweatshirt and jeans, your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. “you? you want my help? is this some kind of joke?” he scoffed “i guess you can come in” he shut the door behind you while whispering “the audacity” under his breath.

you sat on his scratch free leather sofa, it was brown and matched perfectly with the freshly decorated living room, you gathered he’d just moved there, probably his first house. you thought it was funny how his cute hello kitty socks really juxtaposed the whole vibe of the house, a small smile forming on your face. you were so caught up in your thoughts you didn’t even realise he’d asked you a question.

“did i say you could sit down?” he asked sternly. you never really knew what you did wrong to him, you just kind of… accepted it.

“right yes sorry” you stood up and awkwardly adjusted the hem hoodie. “uhh so it’s on the carbon cycle and i have no clue-“

“i know what it’s on you idiot, i wasn't gonna agree if i didn’t, was i?” he interrupted “well are you gonna sit down then?” he asked only to receive an eye roll from you as you sat down again.

you placed your bag next to you and pulled out your laptop. positioning it on his coffee table, you failed to notice jihoon had already left the room.

“what’s that?” he asked, placing two glasses of juice on the table “is it from the 90s?” he asked, following it up with an extremely condescending laugh.

you looked up at him, the heat radiating off your face resulting from a mixture of anger and sadness. “what did i do? why have you hated me since day one huh?” you finally snapped, it’s a shame jihoon barely heard you though.

“i’m gonna presume you asked why i hate you and the answer is” he cleared his throat “your old school”.

your face had definitely cooled down by this point “my old school?” you laughed.

“as head boy it was pretty much my job to hate any other school and the students there, just a shame you were one i guess” he confessed, his stern face softened as he spoke. “it was petty really, but petty is my middle name so what can i say?”

“i can tell” you responded, eyes narrowing as a sarcastic smile formed on your face. “shall we get to work now?” you asked, not wanting to waste any more time with him because somehow it made it even worse that the reason he hated you was just your old school.

“oh did he not tell you?” you looked at him puzzled and shook your head. “tonight we were just supposed to get acquainted because i don’t have much time, i’m going out later and i want to look fresh for the ladies.” he pulled twice on his sweatshirt, that typical cliche “cool guy” action just suited him for some reason. “so we have like 3 hours that’s all.”

“what, 3 hours won’t be enough to complete this?” you could have cried thinking about it, throwing your head back when you saw that jihoon had shook his head. “i’m gonna have to come over again aren’t i?” you asked, dreading the answer you already knew you were going to receive.

“fraid so” he responded.

it took some time, but you finally came around to the idea, not that you had a choice, you couldn’t do this without him. you reached into your bag once again, this time pulling out your metal straw and placing it into the orange beverage on the table.

“ooo fancy” jihoon cooed, eyes following your hands. “let me get mine” he got up, dashing to the kitchen and returning with his pink, silicone straw. “save he turtles, am i right?” you naturally laughed along with him which you soon stopped when you realised you were joking? with park jihoon?

throughout the next half an hour there were countless incidents which were similar, only you’d begun to let yourself laugh. were you maybe finally starting to like this boy too? this is the closest you’d ever felt to liking one of haruto’s friends, it just felt weird that it had to be him.

as if on queue, you received a phone call from haruto. you answered sheepishly, not wanting to distract jihoon who was now intensely staring at his phone as if he was waiting for an important message. “hey ruto, can you text me instead?” you requested. before he could answer, you put the phone down. a few seconds later your phone chimed.

ruto 🍩: how is it going? made any moves yet? i mean done any work yet? ;)

you tutted as you read the message which caught jihoons attention. “what is it?” he inquired, getting out of his chair and moving your bag. he sat down right next to you and peeked over your shoulder. the intimacy was nice, you didn’t like that it was nice, but it was.

“a little privacy please?” you moved your phone from his eye line and turned to face the other way.

you: i kind of like him ya know? it’s too early to tell. i mean i don’t hate him now i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

swoosh, away your message went. had you really just told him that you liked someone you used to hate?

ruto 🍩: interesting… i’ll have a word with him.

a certain panic set in, but you couldn’t do anything about it when you heard a beeping noise coming from jihoon’s kitchen. you suspected it was a fire alarm, the way he abruptly got up and rushed in there.

“it’s ruined” he shouted, there was a hint of anger in his voice that seemed familiar. you hesitantly walked towards his kitchen and asked what he’d supposedly ruined. “nothing it’s nothing, just go back and start working, we can do it in 2 hours if you work fast. are you capable of that?”. the soft jihoon that you were just getting used to had suddenly disappeared, it felt like a kick in the stomach and you knew your presentation wasn’t gonna be great now.

for the next hour or so you worked tirelessly on the presentation, now making a poster instead of a powerpoint since what jihoon wanted to do, you HAD to do right now. there was undiable tension in the air, neither of you wanted to talk about it but it didn’t stop you from being curious. an occasional phone buzz broke the silence, but neither of you checked your notifications. not until you once again threw yourself back into his sofa, this time your head was in your hands. you understood nothing going on in your poster and the “help” you were getting was minimal.

jihoon grabbed his phone, not really sure on what to do when he saw you.

haruto: yes jihoon, they like you now make your move

haruto: bro… ur silence is concerning what’s going on there?

he gently placed his phone on the glass table, slightly moving the oversized poster, brushing your leg as it moved and catching your attention.

he stood up from the carpet and sat beside you.

“i’m sorry i flipped like that on you” he whispered while his hand made its way to your knee. “we can come back to it tomorrow” he glanced at you.

“wont you be hungover, or won’t you be trying to shoo away some one night stand? i know your type” you sniffled through tears. no one had seen you cry before but for some reason you didn’t feel embarrassed.

“well actually i’ve decided to not go out tonight. i have a netflix account that isn’t getting used and i was wondering” he started, shuffling closer to you “if you wanted to watch something with me? you know, just to take your mind off things” his eyes widened looking back at the disastrous poster in front of him.

“maybe” you thought for a while, remembering what haruto said he was gonna do and realising he’d probably done it “on one condition” you smirked.

“what is it?” he flirted, prepared to do anything for you. by now he’d somehow managed to wrap his arm around your shoulders too, just adding to the ambiance he’d created in 0.2 seconds.

“tell me what you ruined in the kitchen” you begged.

“it was-“ he paused for a second, wondering if he should tell you or just show you. he pulled his arm from around you and quickly went to get the tray from the kitchen. “i attempted to bake some cookies in the shape of clouds and the sea and cows, but as you can see they are definitely not medium rare, more well done i’d say. i was thinking we could have filmed a little video with them tomorrow or something when they were cool as your presentation. kinda glad they burnt, why would i want to waste such a good idea on you” he emphasised the “you” and faked heaved, a teasing tone evident in his voice.

“we could still ice them or paint them or something” you enthused.

“anything to spend more time with me, huh?” he teased further, foreshadowing the future of your relationship with each other.

🔅please let me know what you think about this! i’m not really confident posting it so any feedback would be much appreciated! i also just wanna say that the character i made up for jihoon does not reflect him as a person! i’m sure he’s not an evil person irl i just wrote this for entertainment🔅

[adramaticbeauty]

Fairies and Dragonflies

Warning: If you didnt read the previous chapters you will be so fucking confused so best to go back with this link: https://my.w.tt/nw0KOnbfRcb

Now onto the trash dump!

Chapter 8: Trouble for Both

You gotta be kidding me." Gray grumbled in disbelief. He still tightly clutched the newspaper that headlined what could either make or break his career.

It was about 9 in the evening, and he just trudged through his door.  Gray flopped on the couch, his limbs sprawled any which way. He was the personification of a mess right now.

The talk with his manager, Mr. Kyoji was unusually awkward and gruesomely long.Gray wasn't usually one to formally apologize but if it saved his ass from punishment, it was worth it.

He never knew what the protocol was for this type of situation, fraternizing with a rival band. He guessed him and Juvia could always vouch they were just hanging out as friends. But either way rumors would start, considering it was just the two of them. Plus he didn't have the most squeaky clean record involving females.

Either way, it damaged Juvia's career the most however you looked at it. The public always seemed to target women the most when it came to romantic endeavors. Not that there ever would be one between them now.

Gray chuckled horsely as he thought back to 3 days ago. So much had happened in so little time, that he never even got to  process Juvia's rejection. Not that it was a proper one.

It seemed like everything was going great at first and then it was as if she completely changed into a different entity. She became snarky and he dare say bitter. It didn't make any sense to him. Why would anyone ever be bitter with him? Well he had a few reasons but its not like he even knew the girl for long. The scene kept replaying in his head, although he knew it was useless to think about it now.

The more he thought about it the more he got pissed. Who the heck did she think she was? He hadn't done a damn thing and he definitely didn't deserve to get verbally trashed like that. It all just left a sour taste in his mouth.

"That girl...whats with her." Gray mumbled to himself more than anyone.

Gray rested his eyes as he only took in the sound of his own breath. He hated when it got like this. So quiet. He honestly despised when it became so stilled, as if the world stopped spinning. He hated it, as it felt like there was a missing element. In his life, his home and even maybe his heart. Although Gray would never admit it , even to himself.

Gray's stomach grumbled ferociously and it reminded him of his lack of food from today. Gray's contemplation of whether to order pizza became meaningless, as a ring echoed throughout his apartment.

"Unknown number huh?"

Gray pressed reject and slouched back into his couch, again trying to create the somber mood once more. Once again the phone rung, and with the same unknown digits.

Probably some crazy fan found out his number, although he couldn't imagine how. Guess he had to change it once again. Unless it was...

He did give his actual phone number to Juvia, even if she didn't give hers. He picked up almost a little too quickly and tried to sound as natural as possible.

"Hello?" 

"Is this Gray Fullbuster?"

Anddd not Juvia. As he reached for the decline button, he couldn't help but recognize the voice in his subconscious.

"Who the hell is this?"

"Um Lucy Heartfilia? From 'Fairies'. We were introduced after our concert-"

" Wait which girl were you again?? The red haired hot one?"

"What- no! I'm the blond one! This is already irritating..." There was a discreet groan at the end of the line before she cleared her throat and took on a more stern tone.

" I'm calling because I wanted to ask about the day you went out with Juvia."

Well this was not what he was expecting.

"Oh thank god. Thought this call was because you wanted to hook up or some shit."

"I really want to hang up right now, but I need answers. Tell me what happened before you end up on my shit list please."

"How about this- you tell me who gave you my phone number. I deserve to at least know that much."

He could feel the girl roll her eyes even over the phone.

"Can't say."

" You can if you want answers. What's it gonna be blondie?"

" Fine. It was from the paper in Juvia's....purse."

"Wait. Don't tell me you stole her purse and took my phone number? The hell-"

"I didn't steal! It was just sitting there! And I remember you giving her yours on that tiny piece of paper."

"So...you stole it."

"ANYWAY! Can you answer my question today please?"

Gray scratched his head, contemplating on how much to tell her. The event was a bit embarrassing, even for him. Not like all his dates ended that badly.

" To be honest, not much. We went on a date and things were going well. Then she just freaked out and blew up at me when we were heading back. That's all really."

There was no answer on the other end.

" Hey are ya still there??"

"Yeah dummy, do you hear a beep? And wow. Juvia looked totally not into you when you guys first met. Surprised she even agreed to a date."

Gray could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment.

" Well I sort of saved her life, so it would be nice if you just shut up."

Lucy frowned as she twisted her blond hair in between her fingers. A quirk known to all her closest friends when she was in deep thought.

" Another thing. I have only seen Juvia get pissed once in my entire life. And I've known her for 3 years."

"You known her for that long? Was she as difficult back then as she is now?"

"You must have said something really dickish. I swear to God if you said anything to hurt her feelings-"

"Of course not! If anything I'm the victim!"

" Yeah, well explain why Juvia hasnt come out of her room for 3 days, except for practice!?"

"How the hell would you know that?"

" Juvia, Levy and I all live in the same complex. So I know-"

"That's fucking weird, just saying. What are you, her babysitter?"

" You know what? I don't need to take this shit. I'm hanging up!" Lucy seethed.

"And make sure you give my number back to her so she can apologize whenever."

The only thing that met his voice was the sound of continuous beeping.

Great. That girl had to call him, demanding answers and make him remember the incident all over again. Gray frustratingly glided his fingers through his frazzled hair. Not like he wasn't already thinking about it, for some unexplainable reason.

What bugged him in the back of his mind though was a bit unsettling to him. Why did Juvia even keep his number if she really hated him that much? In fact, she could have threw it away as soon as she had gotten it from him.

He wondered if she would have called him first if he just did absolutely nothing. Gray cursed under his breath before he trudged up to the bedroom. Feeling the coolness of the newly washed sheets gave him temporary comfort to the ache in his heart.

At times like this, he could still hear the softness of his mother's voice. It plagued him so, but at times like this he appreciated the soothing voice setting his mind at ease. Hearing a voice that you knew you could never touch, felt eerie at times. But when he would try to recall the appearance of the voice which beckoned him so much, there was always nothing.

[babyioniive-blog]

home

a/n: i wrote this a while ago. kinda love it. kinda hate it prolly some mistakes but oh well enjoy some calum fluff

pairings: calum + y/n

word count: 1.8k

Y/N POV

My love with Calum was unexpected. We found each other in a time of need. He was finishing what seemed to be the longest tour of his life. He was mentally and emotionally drained. He didn’t know who he was anymore. That was, until he found me.

Ironically, we met at a party. Crystal is a close friend of mine. It was her birthday party. I’ve never been a big partier but this one in particular, I just wasn’t up for it. I was miserable. I walked outside to her patio to look at the stars and decompress. It was a warm June night at 2am.

As I walked outside I saw a body sitting on the ground. He had a cigarette in one hand and a Corona in the other. His head was in his lap. I was about to turn around and go back inside until he saw me.

“I’m sorry.” I started, “I didn’t think anyone was out here. I’ll go back in.”

“No no, you don’t have to. I just needed a breather.” He said back and patted the ground next to him for me to sit.

“Not a big partier?” He mumbled to me.

“Is it that noticeable?” I said laughing lightly. “Calum right?”

“Yeah and you’re Y/N?”

I nodded. “Crystal has talked about you before. You’re a good friend to her.”

I smiled.

“Crystal brought to one of your shows. You’re one hell of a performer.” I said to him

“Thank you.” He said sincerely.

“Why are you out here? Shouldn’t you be in there?” I asked.

“Yeah, I just, saw someone from my past and it’s too soon. I really don’t want to go back in there.” he mumbled softly. That’s why he was hiding. I didn’t push it.

“Well, I was about to leave and I don’t think you’re in any form to drive so do you want a ride?” I asked the brown eyed boy.

“If you don’t mind.”

“Let’s go” I said. He was hurting. I could tell. We went into the house and said our goodbyes. I saw him staring at someone. A girl. Probably who he was talking about. I could see the hurt in his eyes. I just met him but all I wanted was to help him.

“I know we just met and you might think this is weird, but can you please stay the night? I’m not in the right mindset to be alone and i-” he started to ramble. I grab his hand in a friendly way for reassurance. “Yes of course. Just give me directions.” The car is consumed with small talk. “Do you like dogs?” he asked suddenly. “Yeah why?” and then he goes on about his little dog Duke. The way he cares for him is beautiful. I think I saw him smile. I was excited to meet his little bundle of joy.

We arrived at his house 20 minutes later. His house beautiful. It wasn’t big but it wasn’t small either. We walked in and he briefly showed me around. After that he gave me one of his T-shirts to wear to sleep. I sat on the couch for a little while petting Duke.

“You can sleep in my guest room.” He told me. I just nodded. He sat on the other side of the couch. I could tell he wasn’t okay. He looked like he wanted to break down.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’ll listen.” I said. “Are you sure? It’s pretty sad.” He said back “If you tell me your story, and I know you have one, and then I’ll tell you mine.” i said. “Well..” he started to talk. He told me everything about his ex girlfriend. About how she used him for fame and how she cheated on him. She tried to make a move on one of his band members. He called himself an idiot for going back to her every single time. I listened to every word he said. He told me his breaking point was when he caught her making moves on Luke. He broke it off right there and the party was his first time seeing her since the incident. This boy had so much hurt.

“Okay I spilled my story to you. Your turn.” He said to me.

“Well my started off like any cliche highschool romance would. He was the jock football player and I was the outcast. He was my brothers friend. He asked me out one day and I was hesitant but I just went for it. He took me out to this diner down the street from my house. The date was amazing. I fell for him. And I fell hard. Soon we did everything together. I loved him. He was my first love.” I paused to make sure he was still with me.

“And then something in him changed. He became distant. We hung out one day. We had sex.” I choked. I haven’t spoke about this in a while. “I didn’t want to but I figured if I did, he’d want me. I just wanted to be enough for him. He was my first time.” i paused. “I was wrong. I was so wrong. Soon he came over all of the time and every single time, we had to have sex. If i told him no, he’d say I didn’t really love him so once again i bit my tongue and just went with it.”

This time he grabbed my hand. He knew this was a lot for me. He listened to me intently.

“I hit my breaking point when he started cheating on me. The first two times i let it slip. He said he was drunk. Whatever. Then the third time, he cheated on me with me best friend. I couldn’t keep doing it to myself so I cut him off. The next day, he went to school and told everyone that I practically threw myself on him and that I forced him when it was really the other way around. Because of him, I haven’t let myself trust again.”

Calum looked at me as I cried. He hugged me. We both needed that hug as we cried to each other. We listened to each other carefully. A beautiful bond was born that night.

We finally released after what felt like forever.

“You’re gonna love again. I promise. It will get better.” I said to him.

“I know. So will you.”

After that night, we became the closest of friends. We had little inside jokes and we did everything. There was a night when I received a call from Calum. I answered and it was Ashton.

“Hello?” I asked

“Y/N? It’s Ash. How far are you from the studio?”

“About 20 minutes. Why? Where’s Cal?”

“He’s… well hes having a panic attack. I’m trying to calm him down but he just keeps asking for you.”

“Oh my god okay. I'm on my way now.”

I was panicked. He briefly mentioned how he used to have panic attacks. He hasn’t had one in 4 months. He used to get him a lot after the break up. I rushed, passing through red lights. All that matters in that moment was getting to him.

I stormed in. “Where is he?”

Ashton took me to him. I found him on the floor. Back against the wall. Tear stained cheeks. In that moment, he looked helpless. I went down to his level and grabbed his face. He refused to look at me. I think he thought i was disappointed. I grabbed his chin and forced his eyes to mine. I could get lost in his eyes. He look scared. He looked hurt. I hated seeing him so upset. All I wanted was to take away his hurt. I hugged him. He held onto me so tightly as I did to him. We stayed like that for what felt like forever.

I released him and just looked at him. “What happened?” I asked. I was scared for the answer.

“I saw her earlier.” Fuck, is the only word that came to mind. “I came straight to the studio and I was writing a song a-and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn;t know what to do this hasn’t happened to me in so long. I thought they stopped.” I wish they did. I hated seeing him like this. Seeing someone you care so deeply in such pain, shatters your heart. I could only imagine how helpless he felt.

“I just wanted you here.” He said. God I loved him and i wish I could just tell him. But i can’t. I hadn't felt so deeply about someone in so long but this moment, just confirmed my feelings for him. I loved him more than anything in this world.

“Calum, you can always turn to me. For anything. I'll be here in a heartbeat.” I said to him.

He grabbed onto my arms and looked into my eyes. In his eyes were hurt and love. In that moment you could tell he felt at peace. He softly placed his lips onto mine. He whispered a soft “I love you” to me. The world disappeared. It felt like we were the only people who existed.

“What?” I said so softly. I'm surprised he even heard me.

“I love you.”

“I love you so much.” I said back.

Calums POV

I was working on something special for Y/N. Our one year was approaching. This woman was my entire world. The boys and I were writing the new album. I’m writing a song for her. She’s helped with more than sh will ever know. I wish I could thank her for everything but there's nothing i could do that will ever repay her.

This song is my favorite one i've ever written. It has the most meaning to me. Y/N is my whole world.

She had just come home from the store and she was making dinner. We wanted to stay in on our anniversary. Once she was done i asked her to come to the studio in the garage. Once she walked in I started. I asked for the boys help on the instruments and stuff but I sang to her. One of the lyrics that stuck out the most was,

“You are my home.”

And it’s true. She is my home. I feel safe when I’m with her. I never want to leave her side. The look on her face once I finished was the cutest thing. I took a picture. I will cherish it. I will cherish her. With her, it was complete bliss. When I met her, I was this broken kid just coming off of a long tour. I was in the worst mental state. I found her in a time of need.

I guess she was just what I needed.

[frozenartscapes]

Do you have any Frozen Superhero AU ideas? I don't think I've seen any on your blog but you seem good at AUs and I was curious what you might have.

I actually started a Superhero AU like, years ago but I hit a dead end with it. Looking back, it’s kinda your typical cliche superhero origin story. I don’t think I’ll ever finish it.

But what I did enjoy about it was that Elsa, the one who becomes a superhero, didn’t start with her powers. She was normal, working as an environmental scientist, who comes in contact with a supernatural comet made completely out of ice that doesn’t melt. She studies it for a few years, and then one day it just kinda...explodes. And very much like what happened to Captain Marvel, Elsa absorbs all that energy and gains her icy powers.

It starts with her feeling progressively colder, like she’s stuck in a freezer she can’t get out of. Then she changes. Appearance-wise. I had her originally with her non-magic look with brown hair, hazel eyes, etc. But then as the powers slowly settle in, they start to change her appearance to the Elsa we all know and love with that near-white blonde hair and blue eyes. And needless to say, she kinda freaks out about it. Anna also doesn’t really help the situation, largely because she’s too much of a nerd freaking out about getting a superhero for a sister.

I’d be happy to share that scene. I still don’t think I’ll ever post the full story but honestly this scene was why I started writing it in the first place. So here it is, under the cut:

When Elsa reached her bedroom, she wasted no time changing into more comfortable clothes before flopping face-first onto her bed. She had suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion, and the bed felt so nice and soft underneath her that she began to drift off right away.

Then she shivered. It was a little cold in her room, seeing as Anna liked to blast the A/C in the summer months. With a small groan, she shifted so that she was partially covered by her sheets and comforter.

Just as she was about to fall asleep again, another much more violent shiver tore through her body. This time she buried herself in her bed, but she still felt uncomfortably cold. She reluctantly got up and staggered over to her closet, where there were a few spare blankets. She chose a thin knitted one, believing it would be enough seeing as it was summer and being cold now of all times was a bit ridiculous.

The blanket was not enough, and with an annoyed grumble she got up again and grabbed another blanket. This ritual continued for about twenty minutes. At one point she paused to throw on a thick wool sweater and socks, along with her warmest sweatpants. She curled up in a tight ball under a mountain of soft, warm fabric but still found herself shivering as if she was trapped outside in a blizzard.

Eventually, she rolled out of bed, temporarily giving up on sleep, and decided to go in search of the thermostat. She selected the softest, biggest and thickest blanket she owned and wrapped it around herself before heading out the door.

Downstairs, Gerda was busy making dinner for the girls while Anna was watching television. She left during commercials and walked into the kitchen to grab a soda from the fridge. “So she really wants to go back to work so soon after that incident?” Gerda wondered.

“Yeah, she’s kind of nuts,” Anna sighed with a shrug, “She has a terrible fear of ice because of one stupid accident that happened years ago, but she nearly gets herself blown up and it doesn’t even faze her. Go figure.”

They then heard someone coming down the stairs, and since Kai was in another room on the main floor, they knew who it was. Anna, still with her head in the fridge, could hear her sister coming, so she greeted, “Hey, Sleeping Beauty! How was your–”

She straightened up and closed the fridge door, revealing a very cold looking Elsa. “…nap? Um, you ok?” she asked uncertainly.

Elsa glared at her. “It’s f…freezing in here,” she stated coolly.

Anna quickly glanced down at what she was wearing herself: shorts and a tank top. She felt perfectly comfortable in it, too. “I think that’s a problem only you seem to be having, Els,” she told her shivering sister.

“Great,” Elsa said sarcastically. She then shuffled into the family room and flicked on the gas fireplace before plunking down in the chair closest to it. Anna and Gerda both watched in confusion as she wrapped herself up even more in her blanket and continued shivering.

“I’ll make her some tea,” Gerda suggested in a whisper. She then quickly went on to her task.

Anna slowly made her way back to her spot on the couch, and sat down. She no longer focused on the T.V., but instead stared at her sister. Elsa did not seem to notice, and if she had, she did not care. She was too busy trying to get warm again.

Anna was in deep thought. Her eyes then flicked down at one of her notebooks resting on the table, and suddenly an idea came to her. She discreetly reached for it and a pencil, and flipped it open to a page where she had drawn a rather complex flowchart.

“Hey, Elsa?” she asked carefully, “I was just wondering if, you know, you ever thought about superheroes?”

“Wh…what kind of qu…question is that?” Elsa shot back through chattering teeth.

“Well, I don’t know…” Anna said slowly, wincing slightly as she put forth the possibility, “Maybe because you’re about to become one?”

At this, Elsa cast her a look. “Anna, s…superheroes and superp…powers, don’t exist,” she stated dryly, “You w…watch too many m…movies.”

“Yeah, I do, and I read a lot of comic books, and here’s the thing: I made a flowchart a while back that is basically the formula, like, every superhero story uses as an origin for their heroes. And I hate to break it to you, but you’ve pretty much struck every nail on the head so far.”

“Oh r…really?” Elsa questioned with an eyebrow raised.

“Yep. Here, I’ll prove it,” Anna said confidently before looking down at her book, “Let’s see… You weren’t born with your power, which means you had to gain it. And so out of the different ways you could have gained it… Ah, here we go: lab accident.”

“Anna, just because I–”

“Ah! No interrupting! Now, in the lab, were you working with any of the following: something from space? Yes. Something radioactive? Yes. Something with strange properties that don’t normally exist in the physical world? Yes. See my point so far?”

“Superpowers aren’t real,” Elsa repeated in annoyance.

Anna continued, choosing to ignore that comment. “And when the accident happened, it did so in a way that left people wondering how you were even able to survive in the first place… Interesting, isn’t it, sis?”

Elsa rolled her eyes. “I’m not getting superpowers, Anna,” she stated firmly, “If anything, I’ve probably got some sort of radiation poisoning…” She paused for a moment before the full weight of that statement struck her. “Oh God, I probably have some sort of radiation poisoning!”

“Relax, Elsa, this is just the stage when your powers begin to manifest. Every superhero goes through this. You’ll be fine,” Anna said nonchalantly.

“Fine?” Elsa demanded, “I’m not going to be fine! Look at me! I’m freezing in the middle of June! This has to have something to do with being exposed to the energy that comet released when it exploded!”

“Well, duh! That’s part of the chart, too! ‘Are the powers related to whatever it was one was working with in the lab?’ You were working with weird space ice, and now you’re suddenly really cold. Coincidence, I think not!”

“Anna, this isn’t a game!”

“Of course it’s not, this is awesome! Now, are you experiencing any physical changes to appearance?” Anna studied her increasingly worried-looking sister. “You’re paler than normal.”

“Wh– Of course I am!” Elsa sputtered, “I’m about to have a panic attack here and you keep going on about superheroes? Besides, my complexion should be the least of my worries!”

Anna’s eyes suddenly widened. “Uh, yeah, you’re right,” she said blankly, “Worry about your hair instead.”

Elsa gave her another confused and annoyed glare. “I don’t really care so much about how I look at this moment, Anna!”

“Oh, I think you should.”

With an eye roll, Elsa reached for her long braid and brought it over her shoulder to see what her sister was going on about. Her eyes suddenly bulged and her jaw dropped open in shock as she stared at what should be pure, dark brown hair, which was now dark brown with white-blonde streaks running through it. She even had the luck of watching another chunk of hair suddenly turn white – from root to tip as if the platinum was a dye flowing out of her head.

“What?” she gasped.

“Um, I hate to alarm you, but your eyes are doing it, too,” Anna said nervously.

“What?” Elsa exclaimed. She leapt out of the chair and raced to the nearest bathroom. She got there just in time to watch the last of the brown be consumed by the off-white colour. Then her hazel eyes, which suddenly seemed more green than amber, changed hues completely and became a striking, sapphire blue.

“Anna!” she called in a strangled voice, “G…get in the car, now! We…we have to go to the hospital.”

“Whoa, Elsa! Look at you!” Anna gasped when she spotted her sister, “You look good as a blonde.”

“Just stop talking,” Elsa commanded as she staggered out of the bathroom and headed for the front foyer.

“Just what are you two going on about?” Gerda sighed as she came into view, “Oh my word… Elsa, what…happened, dear?”

Elsa wrapped her arms around herself. “I…I don’t know, but I think I should go to Emerge…now.”

“Alright, dear, alright,” the maid said as calmly as she could, “I’ll get Kai to take you. Kai!” The butler appeared and gasped when he saw his young charge’s new appearance. “We need to take Elsa to the hospital,” Gerda ordered.

He nodded, but before he could head off, Anna said loudly, “Would everyone calm down! There’s no need to take her to the hospital! Besides, comic book history sort of shows that doctors are normally worse than useless when it comes to superpowers.”

“Enough, Anna…” Elsa muttered as a warning as she made her way to the door.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Gerda demanded Anna.

Anna took a deep breath, and explained as quickly as she could, “Elsa doesn’t believe me, but I’m convinced that she’s getting superpowers because she meets all the requirements to do so. She just had a lab accident with something weird and radioactive from outer space, she survived something that would normally kill a person, she has been developing weird symptoms all relating back to the thing she was studying in the lab–”

Elsa, at this point, was done hearing Anna’s ramblings about nonsense. She was scared, and annoyed, and cold, and feeling something really weird swirling around in her head, heart and gut. “I said enough!” she yelled angrily. She whipped around and swung one arm out in a finalizing action, hoping that it would shut her sister up.

It did much more than that. She barely registered what was happening when something flew out of her hand when she swung it in front of her. There were audible gasps from Gerda, Kai, and Anna, along with a sound that reminded her of ice crackling and glass breaking. And suddenly she was staring at a strange, very sharp-looking formation of glowing ice just feet in front of her.

The silence that followed was broken by Anna: “…And that. She can also do that.”

[incaseofjeon]

hellooo i just finished reading lucky strike and i really like your writing!!! it's the second thing of yours i've read :) for some reason i can relate a lot to JK?? in his decision to run away i mean HAHA really interesting style too especially at the beginning, when i was starting to get into the plot. i look forward to reading your other stuff! :) a few questions though (and i'm sorry if this has been asked) but 1. what was jimin's power?? 2. what are your fav books? yay! thanks!! -c

omgg THANK YOU SO MUCH ;A; im so so so happy that you read that fic and enjoyed it ahhhhdhsfjds ;__; though ohh i wonder what the first of my fics you read was 👀? hahfbds

and im glad you found his character relatable ;;;; when writing it his story was also the one sort of closest to me personally? so im really glad that other people found him relatable too ahhfjddsj so jUST. thank you!!! thank you so much, for reading and for taking the time to tell me this T–T im really happyy

as for your questions! here ill put them under a read-more bc i just know im gonna get rambly omfgdf

ok so, jimin’s power - I’M ACTUALLY SO GLAD YOU ASKED, because it’s a part of the story that almost no one’s asked about even though it’s kind of a big deal for jimin. which is….jimin doesn’t have a power lmaO. almost everyone in that au has superpowers; its the norm to have one, but fic!jimin just..doesn’t. it’s something he’s probably felt odd about growing up; in his growing years he probably tended to feel like he had to work extra hard to be sort of special or noticed and stuff T-T that’s also part of the reason he originally was drawn to jeongguk in school after the dictionary incident - by that age he’d kind of started to guess that he wasn’t going to develop a power, since it’s really rare for it to develop any later than teenage years, and jeongguk was the first person he’d known to not like his own power ;; so to jimin it was kind of eye-opening to realise that the power he’d always been upset about not having could possibly bring harm as well as good ahjsbdsjhd..so yeAH!! im so so glad you asked this omdfd i feel like..im finally doing fic!jimin justice in telling his unwritten story T–T

and MY FAVOURITE BOOKS. omfg there’s so so many im just going to list as many as i can think of off the top of my head:

1. The Raw Shark Texts (by Steven Hall)

this one is one of my all time favourites, and a HUGE huge huge inspiration in writing that’s left an impact on me for a really long time ;; IT’S SO UNDERRATED but it’s super gripping and interesting and experimentally fresh, and has really well-written themes of like love and loss and unfaithful memories and losing memories and a lot of cool internal/mental things like that! the ending is super cool to me, too ;;; the writing style is like nothing ive ever really seen anywhere else and is just super compelling in the way the author selects and arranges certain simple words in un-simple ways? and there are many parts of this book that are ambiguous in what exactly happened; that’s exactly why i love it? idk i jsut - i get super super excited about this book pleasE READ IT 

2. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake (by Aimee Bender)

actually, i have loved about every single thing by aimee bender that i’ve read, but this is the only novel of hers ive read so far so i’ll go with that hjsbdjhsf…her short story collections are super lovely too, some of my favourite short stories by her are Job’s Jobs, Appleless, Death Watch, Motherfucker, I Will Pick Out Your Ribs (from My Teeth), and Faces. Aimee Bender is really one of my favourite authors ever, she has a really distinctive style and flavour thats creative and poetic and charmingly matter-of-fact all at once, that makes the most mundane stuff seem magical and the most magical stuff seem mundane. like. idk. IM REALLY IN LOVE with her writing ;;;;; ahdsbfjhbfds please check her out if you can!!!

3. A Wrinkle in Time & its sequels (by Madeleine L’Engle)

this whole series is just..really lovely in its ideas and hopeful and really gave me a huge sense of wonder the first time i read it? and there are some scenes in it that were just so beautifully magical (even though it’s actually sci-fi) and moving that i’ve never forgotten them to this day ;___; even though i first read it when i was 11 lmaO. but really, this is so soso osos o lovely idk if youve ever read it but i hope you have/get to read it some day abfdf

4. The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

jhasgfjhs kate dicamillo is another of my all time favourite writers, i grew up hunting library shelves for her name lmao her writing is just..really beautiful in its ideology and style? there’s something very pure and innocent and whimsical and so so poetic about the things she writes and the way she tells stories, i always tend to read her stuff in one sitting bc it’s just so hard to stop ;;; i love her work so so much 

5. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

i actually…can’t remember the exact story of this anymore BUT I DO remember that when i read it, i was completely blown away by the power of the writing style? bradbury’s writing is just…really distinctive in a heavier kind of way? like it’s poetic but kind of grips you around the heart idK im not sure how to explain it. i’m always stunned at the way he chooses his words and crafted his world in this book ajhsfbjd i love it sooo much ;;; i want to reread soon sdhfds

6. The Monstrumologist series (by Rick Yancey)

THIS ONE IS SO UNDERRATED i love it omg..it’s more gory and dark than most the things ive mentioned but the gore never feels like..needless? idk. i just love it so much and the kinds of ideas like the blurring of lines between man and monster, as well as the changing relationships of growing up - the book series just handles that so so well and with a really exciting gripping plot too ahdgsd i love it i love iiit. my fav book in the series is probably the lsle of Blood; there’s a line in there about a plate that haunTS ME ALWAYS 

7. Skellig and Kit’s Wilderness by David Almond

david almond is another writer i grew up reading ahhHH it’s honestly been too long for me to exactly remember what i loved about these 2 books - BUT I LOVE THEM

8. The Seas by Samantha Hunt

i actually am reading this book literally right now, so i havent reached the ending and im not sure if ill still love it as much as i currently do by that point, but so far i definitely am loving it SO much!! the writing and metaphors and characterisation are so damn beautiful and interesting and the writer has a lovely flow and really fresh way of arranging words and delivering ideas ;; it’s just really prettily and freshly and creatively written ;A; plus, i have this…Thing for the ocean so i love that a central part of this book is about the sea ahhH 

9. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami 

I WISH I HAD MORE HARUKI MURAKAMI THINGS TO TALK ABOUT but this is the only of his books ive found so far - and I LOVE IT TO DEATH. i actually read norwegian wood and the particular sadness of lemon cake in the time period when i wrote my latest fic (thought you knew) and they really ;;; damn, a double whammy of inspiration omfg. norwegian wood is just…really really interesting and deep and real without being too heavy-hearted in the way it talks about things like relationships, devotion, alienation and loss? idk, it’s just- i love it so so so much, especially the ending paragraph ahhhh

10. Cathedral and A Small, Good Thing (by Raymond Carver)

THESE ARE TECHNICALLY SHORT STORIES, not books. but i just love them so much i have to mention them ;;; i honestly love raymond carver and his way of writing a lot, he just..he says so much with so little? he’s a huge inspiration i look up to like crazy especially when it comes to crafting dialogue ahhh. i also really love his poem Hummingbird!

11. The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino

idek where to start with this one..THE PLOT IS JUST. FUCKING BRILLIANT and it’s a really interesting take on the idea of devotion, especially devotion to..um..unhealthy kinds of levels? idk. it’s just….so well thought through and super cool i was Mind Blown™ when i read it kasjndskdf

12. Bunker 10 by J.A. Henderson

this is another one in team BLEW MY FUCKIGN MIND ahhh ;; i read it super super long ago but the plot is so so good? it’s the kind that’s a bit confusing at first, but then everything gets revealed and i’m completely shook and eye-opened and want to read it again with the new knowledge, you know what i mean? just- i cant remember what the writing style was like but the PLOT and setting was soo so so cool T—T

and that’s…all i can think of at the moment ajhbfjsdhf IM SORRY YOU PROBABLY DIDNT EXPECT ME TO BE SO EXTRA AS TO GIVE SUCH A LONG ASS REPLY but im just…..very very very passionate and invested in the books i love, ok. im so. akjsfbjhdsf

anyway yeah!! thank you so soso soso SO much for reading my writing and liking it and making the effort to let me know ;;;; im really so happy reading and replying to your message, it means so much to me T-T i hope you have a great great day ilY anon c!!!

[mrsmarlasinger]

Successfully sobered up before having another long conversation with my mom prior to writing group! This was NOT my third time showing up to my Mormon lady group completely trashed. Hell yeah.

(Also, why is it that both tonight and those two other times, it's been my turn to talk about my submission, i.e. literally the worst possible time to be intoxicated? Actually, I don't think it was my turn when I was high, but still.)

Anyway, my theory is that you're wayyyy more likely to end up with a hangover if you fall asleep drunk because you can't keep up with hydrating and eating and whatnot while you're asleep. Plus, being drunk disrupts your REM cycle.

Yeah, it's usually a bad time for me when I go to bed drunk, so I'm glad writing group forced me to come down before falling asleep. I've been dinking my oiter and eating snacks so I don't fucking die. I love actually knowing the first thing about drinking now that it's been almost a full year since I got alcohol poisoning etc etc.

Also, I just want to say, after I drank half a bottle of whiskey (RETCH) and got alcohol poisoning and passed out and woke up alone hours later in a pool of my own vomit? After I woke up, I was still so drunk I could barely walk or even fucking see, but I STILL hopped in the shower and sanitized the entire living room and kitchen so I wouldn't be the world's worst roommate.

And I was so drunk that when I was trying to wash my glass in the sink, I broke it somehow (who cares, it was Landlady JoAnn's 🤢 Except not even because she didn't own the damn house), and I cut my hand. I dunno. Really was not capable of comprehending that whole incident.

But I still threw the broken glass away and took out the trash and everything. I baptized all the floors in Windex and Clorox wipes so everything would be clean and shiny and you couldn't tell that I almost choked on my own vomit and fucking died. And I left the damn place spotless! And went to bed and woke up with the most horrific days-long hangover imaginable. Pretty sure I skipped class the next day. Justifiably. I felt like a reanimated corpse.

[even more long pointless rambling below]

Although, ngl, I did attend class many times my last semester of college while half-dead from alcohol/DXM hangovers. The saddest part is that I wasn't going to parties or hanging out with friends or anything!!! I had no friends. The closest I ever got to a party was drinking wine or margaritas and watching movies with my girlfriend over Zoom on Fridays.

Tbh, there was only a month or two that whole semester where I was really even drinking, and even then, it was like once or twice a week at most. And yet I still managed to fit in benders, alcohol poisoning, intoxicated all-nighters, insane hangovers, drunken 4 AM walks to 7/11, and late-night solo bus rides to Honolulu to obtain psychoactive substances. So I basically experienced the unhinged decisions of a 21-year-old sorority girl without the accompanying social life, which was just the most pathetic thing imaginable. And I was, like, STUPID depressed. And soooo lonely. It was so so awful. That semester sucked obscene amounts of ass. And I literally had no clue how alcohol worked.

So yeah, anyway. All this to say that I have infinitely more alcohol-related knowledge and experience now. I've officially been to a bar! Not just a restaurant bar, but a bar bar! I had a margarita and a sex on a beach recommended by the very nice bargoers (which I was secretly thrilled about, because, well...sex on the beach. I'm 12).

And I love alcohol, but not so much that I can't go months without it, because the novelty has worn off and now it's just kind of a nice sideplot to spice up the occasional Fun Night. I really do prefer kava, the only psychoactive substance on earth which isn't twisted and evil and hellbent on destroying the human race. If I consume a non-kava, non-CBD substance more than once or maybe twice in a week, I literally get suicidal.

So I just continue to track everything I use in my Google Calendar, and I'm keeping an eye on frequency and setting rules for myself and stuff. I guess the occasional bout of binge-drinking is okay if I keep an eagle eye on my neurotransmitter levels, but otherwise I don't especially want to drink more than 2–4x a month. Red kratom 2–3x a month, white kratom 1–3x a month. DXM every four weeks max (helllaa hyped to be done with my current eight-week t-break). Weed maybe once or twice or month? CBD for period cramps or the occasional really bad Sunday. Kava up to 1–3x a week, maybe four.

And, you know, these limits are working for me. DXM is my biggest concern, since it's my fave and the one most likely to get me hooked, so my 4+ week dex break is my strictest, absolutely-no-cheating rule. Next is alcohol, since it's so normalized and accessible yet possibly the worst drug for your body, and also because alcoholism runs in my family's veins like a fourth type of blood cell. Then red kratom, since its opioid-like effects kinda feel like playing with fire (which is why I only take 1–1.5 grams).

I'm convinced weed would lobotomize me if I took it with any frequency, but I don't like it that much, so I have no addiction concerns. CBD doesn't bother me because it's not psychoactive and I've absolutely no compulsion to use it. Kava not only had my old therapist's approval but is also, of course, the only non-evil substance in existence, and from all the evidence I've seen (and I was quite fixated on it at one point, so I've done a decent amount of research), I see no reason I can't use it a few times a week if I want.

Anyway. I guess my point is that I feel safe, and I trust myself. And there's loads more stuff I want to try someday, so someday I'll have to readjust to ensure I don't slip. But this is what I'm doing now, and I feel okay about it.

Which is kind of a big thing for me, because not only was I raised Mormon, but my mom's side of the family is brimming with substance abuse disorders, so my whole life my parents have always harped on about how trying drugs or alcohol even once will damage your body and wreck your life—that's genuinely not an exaggeration. That is sincerely what they believe. Plus, with all my mental illnesses, sometimes it's hard to trust myself with anything, because I'm so...broken? Fucked up?

But I trust myself with this. I think I can safely and reasonably apply harm reduction tactics to drug and alcohol usage. I'm definitely not perfect—I'm lucky I got sober in time tonight. I accidentally went to church while zooted into the fucking stratosphere a month ago.

For the most part, though, I don't do dumb shit. Most importantly, I don't endanger my health or life. Or my mental well-being, because I spiral so so quickly if I abuse dopaminergic/serotonergic substances even a little, and it's honestly just not worth it. I really feel infinitely better when I'm practicing moderation.

This is also super important because drugs were fucking up my relationship. Which sounds really goddamn silly, because it was, like, a monthly robotrip and an almost-weekly edible. Maybe a few drinks on date night. But for my girlfriend, that was incredibly serious because of her prior trauma with an ex doing drugs. And she didn't tell me that she was bothered, so I would casually mention drugs all the time in conversation with her. (Yes, I realize I'm fucking evil. I want to claw my fucking skin off.) And it was slowly driving a wall between us, and I want to stab my eyes out just thinking about it.

So suddenly she dropped the bomb on me that all this was hurting her, and I felt so awful I wanted to fucking die, because I was scaring her so much all these months and I had no idea. And so I assured her that I was committed to being careful, and I listed all the concrete ways I was doing that. And I promised I wasn't going to mention drugs to her again, or text her when intoxicated or anything. And I know that she loves alcohol and doesn't consider it a drug, and that drinking together is something we enjoy doing, but honestly, I don't even wanna drink with her anymore. I told her I was gonna give her my best sober self, and I'm doing just that.

That's a huge part of why I'm being so regimented with my substances. Because when I found out what I'd been doing to my girlfriend, I almost literally could not live with myself. So...this. And it's good. It feels good.

I'm very pro-drug. Despite that whole "kava is the only non-evil substance" thing, I truly do think all drugs are morally neutral. I am against addiction stigma. I think drugs should be legalized (and thus regulated!) for the safety of users. I like intoxication and I don't plan to stop any time soon. But the reason I can confidently say that is because I've been keeping myself on track, and I'm proud of that.

Maybe I still use too much. Maybe DXM shouldn't be used monthly, or at all. Maybe anything akin to opioids is better left alone, even if it's herbal. Maybe vodka is worse than cyanide. Maybe it's risky business to be intoxicated as much as 1–2x a week. I don't know. But this doesn't feel extreme to me. It feels safe. It feels controlled. And please keep in mind, I'm a 21-year-old who's been figuring all this stuff out for less than a year, so cut me some fuckin' slack, mmkay?

If I need to make adjustments in the future, I will. I will protect my relationship and my mental and physical well-being. I know now that I have the strength to do that. I am not destined to spiral out of control at the slightest opportunity, the way my parents think I am. I'm an adult with self-restraint I didn't even realize I had. I'm figuring this shit out. I'm gonna be okay.

I guess that's pretty cool or whatever.

Being a little tipsy is so weird. Like, if you're not doing it socially, it doesn't even feel good, necessarily. Just weird. Almost equivalent to being feverish, or very slightly high. It's not really euphoric or fun, just...dizzying. A kind of seasickness softened with the faintest of brain fog.